i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
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