Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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