Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
