he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
