I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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