the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
