"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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