i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
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