and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
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