she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
