waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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