Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Randomize
