I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
your room smells of hookers.
And success
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
