listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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