hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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