You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
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