sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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