One girl and one boy is just not enough.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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