why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
