I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
