thus making me awesome and them whores
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize