the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize
