the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
