I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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