Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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