covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
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