So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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