and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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