chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
