here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
