Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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