I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.