I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
