you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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