What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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