what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Farmville is her only friend.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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