So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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