you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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