My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
