dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
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