he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
