Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
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