pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Drunk is not a location!
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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