Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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