I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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