THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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