I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize