He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
3 2 1 whiskey
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
