so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
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