Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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