so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
