I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
