Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Vodka?
Forever.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
