I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
