Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
