Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
