Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
