so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
He felt like a one man threesome
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
