I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
What happened to fro yo and sex?
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
