If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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