I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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