Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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