Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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