dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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